Esther’s blog

All i want for christmas this year is a princess unicorn doll. every kid on my block is getting one and i need to get one too. if i dont, i’ll be uncool and that would make me sad and then angry and so i will travel to the north pole and punch you in the neck. please get me the white one, not the black one. people dont take kindly to black dolls around here. someone down the street hung a black doll head upsidedown on a tree branch, as if that doll was lynched and the body fell off. i cried when i saw it. that’s not cool. i dont want my doll to get murdered. in addition to the princess unicorn doll, i would like world peace. also some mini glue sticks (.28″) for my glue gun. i’m all out. if you cant get any of these things, i will accept cash. thanks!

Love, esthero!

i wish you a

My grandma wrote this for her kids. She doesn’t want to get eaten by wolves. She wants to be turned into ashes after death and spread over the mountains. If we don’t heed her words, she will turn our houses upside down as her ghost haunts us for the rest of our lives.

Let’s hope Obama will not let us down, or I’d have to wrassle him to the ground.